How to filter out Internet Time Wasters from Potential Paying Customers

Working online, working from home ... it all sounds really cool doesn't it. And of course sometimes it is.

The reality though, is that a for a lot of the time Artists and Illustrators will have to deal with jerks. That's a sad but simple fact of life for the freelance artist.

Often inquiries will come from people who are really just tyre kickers, to use an old car sales yard expression. They don't really want to buy or pay for anything. They just want to play with an idea they've had, or more likely, one that somebody suggested to them. So, they've done a quick online search and somehow found you. It's quite possible that they've already made an inquiry or two elsewhere and are just hoping to find a cheaper (or perhaps cheapest) option.

Of course, when you first get that email inquiry, you have to assume that it is "for real" and follow it up. You will no doubt have to ask a bunch of stupidly obvious questions, because the inquirer was too lazy to type even a brief description of what they actually want. And after all, you do realise of course that as an artist you are expected to be able to read their minds, right?

So you will ask questions but get only vague answers, which will lead to yet more emails from you and more unanswered questions. Then finally you will spend a few hours assessing and quoting a job that could have been done in less time than you have spent writing emails. And then, after all of that ... you never hear from them again.

Now, I don't know about you, but to me that's just plain rude! A minimum of "thanks for your time, but no thanks" would I believe generally be appropriate ... but you will rarely get even at.


So the questions is ... how do you pick'em?

What differentiates the time waster from a "real" paying customer?

Here are some tips for detecting the dreaded Internet Time Waster:

• The first clue will be the sloppy typing, bad spelling, no punctuation, all in lower case email.
  Yes, maybe your online form was sent from a mobile phone, and then again, maybe not ;-)
  
  
• The next clue will be the almost total lack of any relevant information. Leaving the Artist to either guess at what is required or reply with a lot of questions.
  
  You see the reality is, that these folks actually expect YOU to do their leg work. This is simply because they are either too bloody lazy or too self-important (meaning they think their time is worth way more than yours ... a hey! maybe it is?)
  
  
• And the real giveaway is when they want the biggest size for the smallest price. This will invariably be followed by: 'I need this as soon as possible', because (quite naturally in their important and busy lives) they've left it to the last minute. Should they then mention that they were 'hoping to not spend quite that much' ... well, don't be surprised.

On the other hand, a real Paying Customer (quite possibly a species distantly related to Unicorns) is more likely to show you a little respect (well, at least up to the point where the job has been invoiced ;-)

• Generally they would be people who know what they want, or are at least prepared to take a decent shot at describing their idea. They will often be the one to initially ask a lot of questions.
  
  
• A real customer will quite likely also have a realistic view of how much the job might cost and will probably have done some thorough online research and comparisons.
  
  
• They are less likely to have unrealistic expectations because they will already understand that good work is rarely cheap or quickly done. And, if the artwork is needed in a mad rush, will accept that the artwork may cost a little more if the Artist is going to quite literally lose sleep over the job.

The question then is ... How Does One Handle Initial Requests?

The short answer is ... very carefully!

The simple truth of the matter is that you have to assume the best, while allowing for the worst.

• Don't put any more time into a reply than it deserves. Keep it simple, keep it polite and keep it short and to the point.
  
  
• If the inquiry lacks any meaningful information, simply ask them to: 'please provide some details of what they are after so that you can gauge whether or not you can assist them'. Chances are, it will end right there and you won't hear back from them.
  
  
• Answer any direct questions if you can, but avoid protracted responses unless you have already established that there is going to be a reasonable commitment by the inquirer to commission your services (or for example, if they are about to send you a deposit ;-)

The short and sweet of it is ... That there are a lot of wankers out there on the Internet, that are either to cheap or too lazy to walk into a studio and put their money where their mouth is. However, they will show no concern at all about wasting your time, or for that matter, any one else's.

It will therefore be an ongoing challenge for you as a Cartoon and/or Caricature Artist to filter out the dross from those wonderful and sometimes elusive creatures we reverently call Paying Customers.

If as a freelancer you can manage a conversion rate of between 5% and 10% of inquiries that become paying jobs, then I'd say you would be doing ok.

And seriously ... Good Luck!



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Wizard - Incept date: 09/02/2010   Updated 16/06/2010